School Fete
by Toasty Goodness
Summary: After reliving an unfortunate event from last year, Vince and Howard decide to face the infamous school again. After all, it's a matter of pride!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: An incredibly short chapter, but I just wanted to get a little introduction out of the way. R&R ^.^**

"I suppose we could…"

"It wouldn't hurt…"

"Not much, anyway…"

Howard Moon and Vince Noir stared at a flyer in their living room. The colourful flyer was advertising an annual school fete.

"It couldn't be as bad as…" Howard gulped, "… last time."

"Don't remind me, that was horrible." Vince shuddered.

"Well, Vince, it was our fault to begin with!"

"But they didn't have to go _that_ far! I mean, really, they could've just given us a bit of a talking to. I'm pretty sure what they did to us was illegal!"

Last year, our favourite musical duo went to the local school's annual fete, where they had been repeatedly attacked by the students for disrespecting the school band, blamed for pissing in the cordial, and other magical tomfoolery. Vince and Howard were still staring at the flyer when Naboo and Bollo entered the room.

"Hey guys!" Naboo greeted as he and Bollo walked towards them, "what are you looking a- Oh… oh dear. Not again." He said, glancing at the flyer, remembering the events from last year.

"You can't be seriously thinking about going back there after last year!" Naboo exclaimed.

"We have to face them again! Anyway, we'd said we'd be back next year, it'd be embarrassing if we didn't go!" Howard protested.

"Howard's right, we have to go. It's a matter of pride." Vince agreed.

"Okay, fine. But I'm not going to wash the blood stains out of your shirts again." Naboo left the room.

"Remind me, what happened last year?" Bollo asked in his usual gruff voice.

"As if you couldn't remember! Oh, well, fine. We'll tell you but just don't ask ever again, alright?" Howard winced. "It's still painful to remember…"

"Why don't we explain everything in a convenient flashback?" Vince suggested.

Suddenly, everything went dark, then bright, then hazy…


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Before you folks read. I'd just like to apologise to UK readers if my depiction of English currency is wrong and seems a bit odd. Unfortunately, I'm not exactly fluent in the language of pence and pounds.**

"_Okay, Vince, ready?" Howard asked, clad in a usual "Howard" outfit. Consisting of an old Hawaiian shirt, black trousers, a black hat, and a pair of ugly brown shoes._

"_Right-io, Howard." Replied Vince. Dressed up in what seemed like a Ziggy Stardust inspired costume; a red and white jumpsuit, white converse, heavy eyeliner, and glittery hairspray._

_They both stood in front of a school gate, decorated with bright balloons and numerous signs all saying "School fete today. Come see our wonderful school!" Behind them was a small trailer filled with microphones, amplifiers, CD's and various instruments._

"_This'll be the best show we've ever had!" Vince smiled, squinting somewhat because of the brightness of the sun._

_Vince and Howard walked through the school's front gates whilst carrying the trailer behind them. They planned to set up their instruments in the middle of the playground, play, form a crowd and (hopefully) sell some CD's._

_Howard looked at his watch. It was only 10 am, and the fete had just begun. Not many people had arrived yet. The school playground was outlined with stalls all each selling different things, coffee, books and even hardware supplies. There were teachers lurking around the ground handing out pamphlets and offering tours to anyone who happened to walk by._

"_Hey Vince. I think we may as well look at some stalls. We won't attract a crowd when only 5 visitors are here."_

_Vince squealed in delight. "Can we look at the face-painting stall?"_

_Howard was about to reply, but Vince had already made his way to the stall._

"_One butterfly on my cheek, please." Vince said to the plump lady as he sat down on the chair next to her._

_The face-painting lady painted an elaborate butterfly on Vince's left cheek. After she had finished, she offered him a hand-mirror to inspect the painting. Vince grinned._

"_That'd be 1 pound." _

_Vince looked up shyly at Howard. "Can I borrow some money?" He asked in a fake-sweet voice._

"_Uh, no… You said you would give me back my 30 pounds yesterday, and you didn't. So no, you pay for it."_

"_But I haven't got any money!" Vince groaned. He turned to the face-painting lady, who appeared to be angry._

"_You know, there's different ways to pay other than dough." Vince flirted, raising his eyebrows up and down several times._

_The lady only squinted at him. "Piss off."_

_Vince lifted out of the chair, looking crushed as Howard laughed at him. They went to the next stall, which sold drinks and tasty snacks. A little boy stood in alone in the middle of the stall looking distressed._

"_Hello there, little boy! I see your parents aren't around." Howard cheerfully said to the young child._

"_Yeah, 'cause that totally isn't creepy Howard."_

"_Oh, shut up. Anyway, where are your parents?"_

_The little boy only looked up at Howard and Vince, clearly looking distressed._

"_I need to go…" He squeaked in a tiny voice._

"_Go where?" Asked Vince._

"_I need to GO!" The boy said again, pointing to his pants, then to a small pile of soft-drink cans behind him._

_Howard and Vince immediately understood, and started to look around._

"_Jesus. You'd think they'd be a bit easier to find." Vince complained. They both ran around the playground, trying to find any sign of a toilet._

_At that moment, the stall owner came along with a large plastic tub labelled _Cordial_ and started filling it up with –coincidentally- yellow cordial._

_Vince and Howard searched and searched, but to no avail. So they returned to the little boy._

"_Sorry, but we couldn't find a toilet anywhere, I think you'll just have to go in the bush- Hang on. Look over there!" Vince looked at the large tub filled with yellow cordial. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"_

"_He can't piss in there! It's for cordial, Vince! Just look at the label!"_

"_Well, why would it be yellow then, Howard? Yellow cordial is disgusting! I wouldn't even give it to The Hitcher!"_

"_Don't lie, Vince."_

"_Well… Maybe I would… But the point still stands! Go on, little boy! Piss in the tub!"_

"_Don't encourage him!"_

_Whilst Howard and Vince were arguing, the little boy took note of a few things they were discussing, that A) Yellow cordial was disgusting B) To Google "The Hitcher" when he got home and C) To piss in the tub._

_The two kept on arguing and didn't notice the trip the little boy made to the tub and back. It wasn't until a minute later that Howard realised the boy looked very satisfied with himself._

"_Oh, God… Vince, he's done it…"_

_A visitor paid the stall owner for a plastic cup, and started the pour the yellow "cordial" into his cup._

_For Howard, this situation was going in slow motion. He could just imagine himself, throwing himself between the visitor and his cup, as he would almost make the deadly mistake to put it against his lips. Howard would succeed, and be hailed as a sex-god amongst the land of Playboy Bunnies._

_But, alas, he didn't do this. Instead, just after the visitor had taken a gulp, Howard only shouted, "Watch out!"_

Everyone snapped out of the convenient flashback.

"No... No more" Howard snapped.

"Oh, Howard, come on. You said Bollo could hear (or more conveniently, watch) the story." Vince whined

"No. It's late. Time to go to bed."

"It's only 7:30 in the evening, you bastard!"

"Yeah, that's me. I'm going to bed." Howard faked yawned. "And DON'T tell Bollo about what happened next, 'kay?"

"Whatever, Howard. G'night."

"G'night." Howard left the room. Vince leaned over to Bollo, now even more curious about the infamous event from last year.

"So, Howard yelled 'Watch out!'…."

Once again, another convenient flashback arose…


End file.
